We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
