Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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