If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
