doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
