Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
