that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
