i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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