We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
