are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We are two peas in an std pod
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
