Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
