Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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