Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
