I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
