drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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