Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
