Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
why does every cop we meet know your name?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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