Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
