yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
