First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
