I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
