giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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