What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
