I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
