R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize