I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
