Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
