I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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