it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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