so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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