Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm having to shit out rocks
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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