He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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