ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
