Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
