period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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