it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
