Pappa wants mamma naked
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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