Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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