Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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