he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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