i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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