now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My life is pants optional.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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