hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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