i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
