You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
