dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I look better un-naked...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
