Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
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