I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
