Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
