Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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