I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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