Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
