I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
